Some people just know how to get under your skin.
You can be feeling all cool, calm and collected one minute and then… with a couple of words or even a single word someone turns you into an emotional mess.
It’s like an emotional firecracker going off inside you.
Suddenly your bloods boiling, your blood pressure rises and you feel like you’re about to explode.
And sometimes you do. The reaction is spontaneous and is out of your control.
Before you know it you’ve said something that you later regret but you feel you need to at the time. Again it’s out of your control but the fire those words lit in you just causes you to react.
Other times though you manage to supress an outburst but it leaves you fuming and feeling all knotted up inside. You want to give it to the person who’s just pushed your buttons but then you don’t want all the drama that comes when you do it.
You also know how bad you’re going to feel when you hurt them too. And you hate doing that even though they’ve just hurt you.
Isn’t it remarkable how someone is able to get to you so easily?
But then maybe it’s not given it’s usually someone who’s very close to you and knows you intimately.
Like your partner, your parents, a sister or a brother.
And when they say these things to you it makes you feel hurt, angry and confused.
Why do they do it?
What are they trying to gain?
They know exactly what to say to you to extract the maximum emotional response. They know exactly what to say to manipulate you into doing what they want even though you don’t want to.
They use guilt. They use fear. They use embarrassment. The whole range of emotions.
And when you have people in your life who do it constantly to you it’s draining.
And it gets in the way of goals you’re trying to achieve in your life. Which is exactly what they want to happen!
Jealousy is ever present
Your sister or friend might be jealous of you losing weight. They don’t want you to look better than them. And they consciously or unconsciously set out to sabotage you. They want to take away your feeling of feeling good, of feeling confident of feeling happy.
They for some twisted reason, probably to make themselves feel better, they want you to feel insecure and unmotivated.
And it explains an interesting statistic I came across a while back. It was…
7 out of 10 women aren’t happy that their friend is losing weight
So unfortunately when you’re losing weight you aren’t surrounded by people who want to build you up and motivate you to succeed.
And parents aren’t much better in the jealousy stakes either. Your own mother can be jealous of you if you spend more time with your friends than her or your family. And mothers have been known to guilt you into spending time with them than with someone whose company you enjoy more.
Or your mother-in-law might be jealous of you and compete with you for the affections of your husband or partner. She knows just the right things to say to you to belittle you in front of him or to make it seem like you’re not good enough for him.
And so it becomes pretty hard to feel happy and stay motivated to chase your goals when someone close to you always brings you down.
They may or may not be aware of your goals or what they say may be totally unconnected but because they see you happy and shining they know it’s time to push your buttons and rip the happiness from you.
And suddenly emotionally you’re not where you need to be any more.
So if you’ve been working hard at making healthy food choices, staying organised and pre-preparing meals having your buttons pushed quickly puts you into a ‘stuff it!’ mindset.
You lose your motivation to put in that extra effort that required. You lose your enthusiasm that keeps you disciplined.
And you think…
Stuff it!… What does it matter?… No one cares!
And so you relapse back into old habits and do the things that make you feel better, like have a glass of wine or binge on chocolate.
You know it’s not the right thing to do but for a moment it makes you feel happier.
And no one care anyway… right?
But it’s a downward spiral. Because once you’ve done it you then you regret it which makes you feel worse. And then you think to yourself “well I’ve blown it now so what the heck I may as well really blow it”.
And all this unhappiness and self-sabotage from someone uttering a few words.
But this is the thing…
They’re only words.
They’re not physical.
The only power they have comes from the meaning you give them.
The judgement you feel from them is what gives them power over you.
And parents, partners, sisters, brothers and mother-in-laws are only too happy to sit in judgement of you
But the good news is you can free yourself from the judgement of others and take away the buttons for them to push.
You can extinguish the emotional charge they fire up in you so that their words have no effect.
You can free yourself to be happy and confident of who you are and what you want to achieve. And the secret to achieving this freedom lies in tapping into the part of your mind that’s caught in insecurity.
Often it’s an artefact from childhood. There’s still a little girl inside you that’s fearful of doing the wrong thing or of saying the wrong thing. She’s scared of displeasing someone who she wants to love her or she looks up to. Which leaves you open to the judgement of others.
But as I mentioned there is a way to extinguish this fear and to make you impervious to any judgement from others
And the way you do that is with a special hypnotherapy process I have developed.
My Be Free Be Happy Now process specifically targets the scared child in your unconscious mind and makes her feel safe and secure.
Safe from hurt and safe from judgement. Secure in the belief that she is good and she is worthy. Which instantly takes away the power of those that want to keep you unhappy.
My gentle and nurturing process allows your inner child to discover a strength and confidence that can’t be dented. And creates an invisible force field around you that negative comments and snide remarks just bounce off.
The people who usually bring you down won’t know what to do. They’ll be confused as to why you don’t react no matter how hard they try push your buttons.
And you’ll be truly free for the first time to achieve you goals. You’ll be motivated to eat well. You’ll enthusiastically get out and exercise. You’ll discover new strength and discipline to resist naughty foods.
And best of all you won’t care what others think. All that matters is you’re happy and happy with what you’re doing
And the change happens fast. It only takes three to four sessions.
My Be Free Be Happy Now process is gentle. It’s nurturing. And you don’t have to relive your pains from the past. You feel wonderful from the very first session.
And you don’t have to worry about letting go of control of your mind. My Be Free Be Happy Now process is a team effort between you and me. We work together to get you the outcome you desire.
You don’t need to hand over control of your mind and you don’t need to be hypnotizable for my process to work. As long as you can follow instructions and imagine you’ll be fine.
Your sessions aren’t a stage show so everything we do is one-on-one, private and confidential. I provide you with a safe and encouraging environment which facilitates your change.
To discover how My Be Free Be Happy Now process releases you from the hurtful judgement of others call me today at the clinic on 9524 2471. Or fill in the boxes at the top on the right and I’ll call you.
If you’re not in Sydney that’s not a problem. With the wonders of the internet and video conferencing I consult with many of my patients online.